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Civil war

diary entry........ Submitted by lauren (Award 20), age 15

October 23rd 1642

Dear diary,

Trembling, I marched with determination out onto the icy cold battle field. The spot I stood on was soon to become a blood stained battle field. With inspiration, I loaded up my gun with gun powder and a bullet and marched further down the hill. Slowly but surely I strolled to my position and aimed my gun. The signal began, so I aimed my gun and the battle commenced. There was blood going every where and injured people staggering to their feet. I pulled the trigger and BOOM! Off went my gun and it recoiled on me.
I could smell the smoke, gumpowder and blood and the taste was
horrendous as I could taste the blood from my nose and the wax from my ears, because the guns were so loud.
The battle was coming to an end.
Who won?

Comments (6)

user comment alex says: Lauren this is fantastic and when you are older you have got great potential for many things, well done!!
Sent on Tue 18th Oct 11

user comment Natasha says: Excellent 1st person narrative which captures the situation and feelings of the character adequately, leaving the reader wanting more.
Sent on Wed 12th Oct 11

user comment lauren says: jo says: I was blown away by the depth of information and realism of lauren's diary entry. I am very proud of my niece.
Sent on Fri 7th Oct 11

user comment georgia L says: Lauren a brill story and very good VCOP.
Sent on Fri 7th Oct 11

user comment mandy says: wow I felt I was there at the battle too, excellent writing and description.
Sent on Thu 6th Oct 11

user comment Emma says: a very descriptive and informative piece of writing.An excellent diary entry which leaves you imagining you are on the battle field and asking who did win ?
Sent on Thu 6th Oct 11

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