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Ghost Ship

My story about a ghost ship. . Submitted by Jessica ( 170), age 10

The eerie sky made the damp, rotten,wooden ship look like a ship from hell. The walls of the ship had formidable shadows cast on them, this had to be a ghost ship, but where were the ghosts?

The ghosts that made every one shudder and sends a shiver down everyones spine, The ghost of that pirate, out for revenge, and will never stop. Never stop it's reign of terror, never stop haunting, and never stop getting revenge.

The ship had been sailing for 3 months and most of the sailors had died from the terrible disease, scurvy. It had wiped out almost half of the crew, even a full ship isn't that much. So it was getting extremely tough and hard. But not all the crew who died had been killed off by scurvy, it had been the ghost. In those days everyone believed in ghosts and curses so it was hard to come up with something different if they hadn't died of scurvy.

Anyway the ghost had killed most of the crew off, there were about 50 members to start, 15 died of scurvy, the rest died because of the ghost. Now I bet you want to know why this ghost wanders round killing everyone in its path. Well I'll tell you... but if you're a wimp or are scared easily...stop reading now...

It was a eerie, misty night, quite like the one I was talking about earlier, about the year 1715, and a captain was killed because he was to tough on the other crew. He said when they killed him, he'd be back so watch out. And that if he's not, they will die of a terrible curse, but no one believed a word he said. So they chucked him overboard to his soggy, watery grave.

Now he goes around killing all the pirates he sees on the boat, even though all the pirates who killed him are dead by now, he doesn't like to take chances.
Notice I said doesn't....not didn't.

It was a horrible morning, the rain was pouring down like bullets trying to attack the rotten old ship. There was a cold wind, and over the night there was only 1 pirate left, and that was the ghost captain, sitting on the captain's wooden rocking chair, laughing and chanting, 'I got ya at last, got ya at last.' Awaiting the next lot of pirates.

Like I said he doesn't like to take chances.


Comments (14)

 aisha says: VERY FUNNY ENDING!!
Sent on Sun 18th Jul 10

 Jessica says: This is a really fantastic piece of writing! There's loads of great description and you set the scene very well:)
I also love the comment you made about the tense of "doesn't"- many people who are much older than you wouldn't be able to manipulate the tenses that well and comment on what they had done!

I love the end line too- it's quite conversational and it makes it sound like a ghost story you might tell your friends at a sleepover or something. Well done!
Sent on Thu 15th Jul 10

 Tom says: This is great work for a 10 year old. if you keep writing you could be a really good author one day!
Sent on Mon 12th Jul 10

 Dorothy says: WOW! That piece of writing was amazing, I love the variety of adjectives -the piece sent shivers down my spine as I read it.
Sent on Fri 9th Jul 10

 Brittany says: Very good! I like your use of language, your work is very inspirational !
Sent on Fri 9th Jul 10

 Brittany says: wonderful work !
Sent on Fri 9th Jul 10

 uanna says: your work is brillant keep it up
Sent on Thu 8th Jul 10

 jess says: Brill!
Sent on Tue 6th Jul 10

 heidi says: what fab work
Sent on Mon 5th Jul 10

 Beccy says: Wow this is genius !!! well done loving the ending ...
Sent on Mon 5th Jul 10

 heidi says: wow jessica keep up the good work
Sent on Mon 5th Jul 10

 Holly says: Wow that is some amazing work Jessica, I love the ending!
Sent on Sat 3rd Jul 10

 Jessica says: This is a note from the author, thank you so much for making my work 'submission of the month'.
Sent on Sat 3rd Jul 10

 jess says: You are fab!
Sent on Fri 2nd Jul 10

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